Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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