plz talk dirty to me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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