Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
