At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
