grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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