Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
