Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
