I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
