the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
