Apparently you make a good broom.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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