hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
