I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
