oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
