i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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