I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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