That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
