A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it glows. i had to have it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
