I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
