Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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