that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
