Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
