I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
