butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
