so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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