Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
