I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
