I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
