I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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