I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
