he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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