well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize