I wannas sexs uuuuu
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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