Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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