My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
