I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
