You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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