btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
