I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
