I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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