Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
