Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
