so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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