Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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