I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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