Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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