Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
