I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
