i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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