i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
