Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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