she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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